This was written a while ago and I'm just now getting around to posting it. I've been meaning to write an update seeing as I haven't been around all that much so consider this my compensation..or something. I promise one of these days I'll write something interesting but for now this is all I have.

I just realized that I haven't done a real update in over ten weeks so this is really long overdue. The last time I updated I was in LA and had been for almost two months. The movie I was supposed to film cut my part at the last minute so I just decided I'd go home since I hadn't been in my apartment in two months. In a way, it's what I needed to do. I contemplated going back to New York to be with John but at that point, I knew that if I went back, I'd somehow find myself in over my head and I wanted to avoid that as much as I could. So for two more months, the only times I'd talk to him were through phone conversations and occasional emails. I hadn't noticed until then how talkative he is. There were times when I'd let him ramble on and on about whatever he wanted to talk about just so I could listen to his voice. Perhaps it's just me, but his voice alone is enough to calm every nerve in my body. I told him that once and even if he thought I was completely insane, he never said anything. I think the time apart was a good building block for our relationship at that point, it allowed us to really get to know eachother like we should have before.

Maybe it's because I have a short attention span or the fact that I just can't stay in one place by myself for too long, I took the initiative and flew to New York during his last week of rehearsals before the tour. I made some calls in advance and set up a time and place where I could surprise him; and surprise him I did. After all those weeks just hearing his voice, actually seeing him, touching him made it ten times better. At that point, I knew how I felt about him. I'd known for a while, to tell you the truth, but I still had doubts about a lot of things. Apparently he didn't though because within the first five minutes of me arriving, he told me something that washed those doubts down the drain. It was kind of a funny situation because there we were, sitting on the floor while his band was rehearsing behind us and he was holding my hands and just started talking about the way things were in the past. I'll admit, I didn't know what he was trying to say at first and right after I assured him that the past was the past he came out and said it. It was a very surreal moment for me, to be honest. The place seemed to go completely silent and it was just him and me. It was real now, I knew at that moment that I really loved him and the realization that he loved me back just multiplied everything by ten. The words seemed to roll off his tongue with such ease that it gave me the chills. Like I said, it was an extremely surreal moment.

Since then (and that was a little over two months ago) I've been keeping him company while he's touring because I'm just a great girlfriend like that. I've gotten used this nomadic lifestyle oddly enough. At the end of the day, he's always there next to me and that's really all I need. It's hard to find time alone but when we do, we make the most of it and we're grateful for what we do get to see of eachother. Most nights we just close off the back of the bus and lay together on the couches and watch movies or TV. To me, it's perfection and I wouldn't have it any other way. It's amazing how hard it is saying those three words for the first time to someone but after that, they come out as easy as they please. Every morning, every night and more than several times throughout the day I hear them ... and say them. And every single time I smile, I can't help it. Each day is better than the last and it's been that way for five months now. Five months. It's strange to think I met him here almost year ago and within that year he's become such a major part of my life. I have never regretted one moment spent with him, and to me, that's really saying something. He's fufilled every one of my expectations, and then some. In a lot of ways, he's everying I never knew I wanted.

There is more I could add to all of this but to save you from a possible overshare of information (and possibly because I'm feeling particularly lazy at the moment) I'll stop here. The tour is almost done, next week it wraps up I believe. We'll probably head back to New York and after that.. I don't really know, to tell you the truth. Let things progress naturally from there. There's a lot to be considered but in the end all that matters is that we're happy, and we are. There's no better feeling than that.

I love you.